Penetrating Questions | Looking for an erogenous zone? Try the nipples

Jiná Ashline
Columnist

What role do nipples play in sex? Do women and men get pleasure from them?
—Trying for Titillation

Dear Trying,
Nipples play different roles for different people, but both women and men can derive sexual pleasure from them. Every part of a person's body will respond to touch, and certain areas produce intense sensations when stimulated, triggering sexual arousal. These are sexual “hot-spots” called erogenous zones, and nipples are one of these many zones. Some are better known than others because they are more richly endowed with nerve endings (such as the vulva, breasts, and penis) and therefore more responsive to touch than other spots. But there is so much more of the body to be explored. Touching, stroking, caressing, and kissing a partner’s body in many different areas can encourage the build-up of sexual tension and excitement. This is foreplay, people!

All touching has the potential to produce erotic feeling, from tremendous arousal to a little tickle. The famed 20th century sexuality scholar Alfred. Kinsey found in his interviews with Americans that “there is no part of the human body that is not sufficiently sensitive to effect erotic arousal and even orgasm for at least some individuals in the population.” And the famous sex researchers Masters and Johnson proved his point when they found that some women could achieve orgasm through breast stimulation alone! While this may not be the case for the majority of people, that’s no reason not to try adding it into your sexual play.

Regardless of size, the entire breast, including the undersides and nipples, are rich in nerve endings. Many men do not realize that their nipples are an important erogenous zone with the same potential for pleasure as a woman’s. For everyone, the most sensitive parts of the breast are the nipples and areola (the dark ring on the breast that circles the nipple). Not all people want their breasts or nipples caressed because nipples are very sensitive, and for some it doesn’t do anything. But others find it arousing.

It’s important to take your time when exploring chest-centered arousal. Guiding a partner’s hands is a great way to begin to discover the kind of stimulation you desire. Focus on the whole chest area with kisses and massage, and avoid going to the nipples first. Take hold of the breast with your whole hand, warming it inside your hand and massaging gently. Some people use oils and lotions to add to the pleasure, but oil-based products will break down latex, so use water or silicone based products if you expect to move to sexual activity involving condoms or dental dams.

After a warm up, make your way to the nipples, which might be ticklish at first. Vary how you apply pressure, pinch, squeeze, or twist. Use soft, circular motions to trace the nipple and areola with the tongue or fingertips, or suck gently. Be gentle when using teeth. Try different pressure and kinds of touch, always starting out gently and remembering that what might please one person may be painful or uncomfortable to another.

If your partner does not respond to one kind of stimulation, try something else. Keep in mind that for breast sensitivity can vary during a woman’s period, so she may be more responsive at some times than others. Everybody is different in what works for them. Some like rougher play, but most prefer gentle stimulation, some like only the nipple being stimulated, while others like the areola touched, and still others like attention to be paid to the entire chest or breasts.

If you move to other kinds of sexual play, don’t forget about the nipples! Incorporate this kind of stimulation into any stage of your play for more excitement. The best way to discover what works for you and your partner is to try any combination of techniques with a variety of intensities to see what works best.

Less conventional methods of breast and nipple stimulation include intercourse between the breasts and various types of nipple toys. You may also find excitement in using edible body paint and whipped cream.

Start slow with gentle massages before moving on to other methods. The wonderful thing about sexual play with nipples is that by engaging in outercourse you can give pleasure safely without risk of disease or pregnancy!

Erogenous zones are not rigid, unchanging things, like an on/off button that can always be counted on to work. They may vary from person to person and even from one day to the next. A partner may like to be touched one way one day and a different way another. That’s what is so wonderful about erogenous zones, they are not constant, always giving you something new to discover!

—Jiná Ashline ’08 is a Religion major with Women’s Studies correlate. She is also president of C.H.O.I.C.E. Each week she will answer a question about sex and sexuality. Send your questions to jiashline@vassar.edu or by dropping a note in Box 2172.