Weekly Calendar 12/1-12/7

FRIDAY, 12/1
11 a.m. Germany Exhibit. Tropical Germany: Colonialism, Post Colonialism, and the Holocaust. Aryans must need, like, SPF a million. Aula

3 p.m. Tea. You know when you’ve just eaten at ACDC and it makes you real sick. Rose Parlor

6 p.m. World AIDS Day. Open mic, show your talent. $3 to perform; $1 to watch. Free condoms. Don’t you usually get paid to perform? Someone didn’t read the handbook. Students’ Building, Second Floor

6 p.m. Prayer Vigil. In which we will hold a vigil for the prayers that once permeated our public schools. Lord, how we miss them. Jade Parlor

7 p.m. Film League. Strangers with Candy. Some offices always have a bucket of candy: child molesters or perpetual trick-or-treaters? Blodgett Auditorium

8 p.m. Woodshed Theater Ensemble. “The Trestle at Pope Lick Creek.” John Paul II got a body of water named after him after he told everyone that his saliva was really the “spit of God” and demonstrated on some nuns. Susan Stein Shiva Theater

10 p.m. Main All-Campus Party. Like the Halloween dance, but this time you have no excuse for making out with a guy in drag. Villard Room

SATURDAY, 12/2
7 p.m. Film Screening. An Inconvenient Truth. Al Gore wants you to know that your boyfriend is gay. Rocky 300
8 p.m. Matt Carey Comedy Night. Improv hosts a night of comedy featuring Improv, Convoy, and a surprise guest. This surprise guest better not be Bogie Lowenstien. Note to Bogie: Being in a Julia Stiles movie doesn’t make you a comedian. Students’ Building, Second Floor

8 p.m. Musical. “Songs for a New World.” An encore performance of last week’s Thanksgiving musical. Sanders Hall, 212

10 p.m. Senior Karaoke Night. In which Rachel Wolff will sing Celine Dion’s greatest hits. Villard Room

SUNDAY, 12/3
8 p.m. Vassar Men’s Lacrosse Film. This week, Beer and Video Games: The Eric Schrager Story. Rocky 300

MONDAY, 12/4
3 p.m. Tea. And then you have to go to the bathroom really badly and the only one you can make it to is the one in your hall. Rose Parlor

4 p.m. Interview Skills Workshop. Hint: When asked what your hobbies are, don’t say “cute boys and smoking pot.” CC, Faculty Commons

5:30 p.m. VSA Focus Group. “But how does Abel make you feel?” CC, 223

TUESDAY, 12/5
3 p.m. Tea. And you’re by yourself and it’s fine, but then another person comes into the bathroom. Rose Parlor

8 p.m. Open Drawing Session. Clothing optional, pencils required. Ely Hall, Studio 2

10 p.m. ViCE Jazz. Chicago Afrobeat Project. In honor of the last Jazz Night of the semester, Sam Bloch will grow out his hair. The Mug

WEDNESDAY, 12/6
9 a.m. Sexpo. Workshops will include “Sexpository Writing,” “Sexhibitionism: Webcams and You,” and “Sexploitation: Making the Most of Your Time at Vassar.” CC, North Atrium

3 p.m. Tea. And you try to be quiet because it’s really awkward. Rose Parlor

5:30 p.m. VSA Focus Group. “Kenny Wong: Hot or Not?” CC, 223

5:30 p.m. Conversations in Writing. A two-hour discussion on why the English Department doesn’t grade papers. Hint: it’s not because they’re lazy. Rocky 200

THURSDAY, 12/7
3 p.m. Tea. And then you’re too successful and you’re so quiet that the person doesn’t realize anyone else is in there, and so he turns off the light when he leaves, leaving you to finish in darkness. Rose Parlor

5 p.m. Lecture. “Bicycling In and Around Poughkeepsie,” Gideon Oliver, legal representative of “Time’s Up.” Mr. Oliver, if, perchance, one cannot ride a bicycle, which would you suggest as an alternative mode of transportation—Segway or rollerblades? Rocky 300

8 p.m. Play. “Resurrection Blues” by Arthur Miller. In which Miller addresses the issue that he’s returned from the dead as a 90-year-old and former wife Marilyn Monroe has returned at age 36. Viagra doesn’t work on the resurrected. Sanders Hall, 212