Weekly Calendar 11/3-11/9

FRIDAY, 11/3
9 a.m. Housing Committee. “Okay, so all the weirdo freshmen boys can live in Main…” Faculty Parlor

2 p.m. Economics Faculty Meeting. “If supply for econ classes is inelastic, but demand is rising, we should probably just fuck the whole thing and offer one large lecture course where Cappy will read one chapter of Freakonomics aloud every week.” CC 240

3 p.m. Tea. The Rose Parlor got pimped over October Break. Rose Parlor

7 p.m. Haunted Hollow. They find all the girls from Strong you got with and hide them in the woods to pop out at you. It’s pretty scary. Ballantine Field

7 p.m. Film League. Killer Clowns from Outer Space. Sad to say, but I really did watch this movie in class in high school. I think we had a quiz on it. Blodgett Auditorium

8 p.m. ViCE Conert. Lupe Fiasco. It costs money and it’s not Wyclef. But fiiiine, I’ll go. Students’ Building, Second Floor

SATURDAY, 11/4
1 p.m. Swim & Dive. Vassar vs. Skidmore College. Be a bitch. Chant “Safety school, safety school” while they’re diving. They probably can’t hear underwater anyway. Walker Field House, Pool

3 p.m. Experiencing Magic: The Gathering. You’re not in seventh grade and it’s not 1999. I should stop putting this on the calendar. Cushing, West Parlor

10 p.m. Halloween Party. Go as an abstract concept, like “Post-Modernism” or “Existential Mysticism,” everyone will get it as long as you do it slutty. Villard Room

SUNDAY, 11/5
3:30 p.m. Cheese Tasting. Perhaps I will go, I am re-acclimating my body to dairy. Cushing, West Parlor

4 p.m. Lecture. Do as you’re told, young man. Paddling is legal again. Faculty Parlor

5 p.m. Poughkeepsie Farm Project Potluck. Just remember, this is not the same as the April 20 potluck, so you might want to rethink that spaghetti sauce. Students’ Building, Second Floor

MONDAY, 11/6
3 p.m. Tea. I thought the Backpage pimped it a couple years ago. Rose Parlor

5:30 p.m. Lecture. Suzanne Massie, former presidential advisor, on “Why Are We Always Wrong About Russia?” Does this have something to do with Anastasia? Rocky 300

TUESDAY, 11/7. Election Day!
3 p.m. Tea. The administration is finally catching on. Rose Parlor

4:30 p.m. MATH Colloquium. Is that a slide rule in your pocket or do you just really, really like multivariable calculus? Oh, that’s what I thought. Rocky 310

7 p.m. Employer Information Session. United States Secret Service. Sponsored by the CDO. They are looking for students to be in the upcoming Will Smith movie Men in Black IV: Back to Basics. Faculty Commons

WEDNESDAY, 11/8
3 p.m. Tea. I hope they included the plasma screen TVs inside the teacups like we asked for. Rose Parlor

5 p.m. Philosopher’s Holiday. This year’s locale: Limbo. Rocky 300

5:30 p.m. Lecture. Amory Starr, Assistant Professor of Sociology, Chapman University. “The Difficulty of Assessing What Doesn't Happen in Interdisciplinary Analysis of the Impact of Surveillance on Constitutionally Protected Political Assemblies.” So, it’s on…nothing? Rocky 200

6 p.m. Claflin Lecture. Jules de Balincourt. He draws fictional parodies of Americana, picturing a spoof nation that’s both foreign and familiar. Through his faux-naif style, de Balincourt creates a humorous reportage, inventing a contemporary anthropology based on media representation, political dissent and blue-collar ethics. So, it’s Reno 911 but on paper? Taylor Hall, 203

9 p.m. Quebecois Night. Featuring episodes of Degrassi dubbed into French. CC 223

THURSDAY, 11/9
3 p.m. Tea. I guess red carpet is good enough. Rose Parlor

5 p.m. Lecture. Jim English, University of Pennsylvania, “The Diaspora of Cinematic Realism.” Do they even get a diaspora? Well, I guess they’re all Jews anyway. Taylor Hall, 203