Views On Vassar | Opening doors for each other more than just common courtesy

Tendai Musakwa Opinions Editor

Vassar students open doors for each other at almost every entrance on campus. I watch in amazement as the huge All-Campus Dining Center (ACDC) door is propped open by a single female while 16 people enter, and then someone else takes over this temporary doormanship. As I head toward my next class, a boy in a t-shirt in the pouring rain holds the door for me. I am still 15 yards away and the chiming of the library bell signals that both of us are late. Is this some weird sort of non-gender-specific chivalry? Yes, but it is also something much, much more. It is the strong sense of community we have here at Vassar: the ever-apparent emotion of love.

Yes, it can be called love. There really is no other word to describe the warm and fuzzy feeling of a smile from a complete stranger on a dreary Monday morning as you rush off to a lecture.

The power of “being nice” is something we all possess. When we use it, we create bonds of kinship which are felt by all of those around us, whether they acknowledge it or not. Many of us can relate to the sense of belonging we feel when a nice woman at the counter in ACDC tells us to “Have a good one.” In the home away from home we try to create at this college, it is important for the community to care about and do nice things for each other in order to create the atmosphere of congeniality that humans as social creatures desire.

Besides the aura of amiability created by being pleasant, it also fosters respect. Whereas most people usually refer to respect as something that is earned, a this college, it is presumed to be a right. This is reciprocal; being nice creates mutual respect, which leads to even more friendliness. Respect is important in an institution such as ours, in which people might have different points of view. By respecting our peers we ensure that even though we might not agree with them on various issues, we listen to them and try to understand how and why they think the way they do. This is the only way to attain true wisdom, I believe—to listen and understand.Understanding and acknowledging that we are different is one of the many things that make us a Vassar community and not just a bunch of strangers living together.

Friendliness also has its disadvantages, however, the biggest being repressed feelings and unexpressed thoughts. At Vassar, students are so preoccupied with pleasing other students that sometimes they cannot really express what they feel or think about particular issues. For example, in social gatherings a number of people often say things that are inconsiderate of the feelings or social backgrounds of others. The students affected often do not raise any complaints because it would be considered mean to do so. This condition also extends to many other facets of the College in which students often feel compelled to agree with the opinions of student-leaders or lecturers simply to be nice or to avoid non-existent repercussions. Those students who do disagree are ostracized by their peers for being “meanies,” even though these peers may agree with them. This is a situation we definitely should deal with as a whole community. Even though being amicable is something we should strive for and hopefully all achieve, we should always strike a balance between our values and what we believe in and being considerate of the feelings of others. The freedom of expression and dialogue is a quality we should strive for as a liberal arts college.

We should be proud of the kind and friendly atmosphere at this college. We should foster and nurture it until it becomes part of and one with our being. If we develop friendliness, it prepares us to be loving members of the human race, and only then are we able to love everyone, just for what they are, a part of our human family, regardless of where they come from, what they believe, or whether or not they are different from us. And that is what we need to create peace and understanding for a sustainable future.

May we continue opening doors for each other.