Weekly Calendar 4/28-5/4

FRIDAY, 4/28
3 p.m. Tea. In an attempt to boost attendance, “Tea” will now consist of single serving sized portions of Coke and Doritos, with the option of M&M’s, if so desired. Rose Parlor

12:30 p.m. Search Committe Interviews. “I really feel I could add a lot to the College. Most notably, I have several degrees from Yale and I once worked in publishing.” CC 204

7:30 p.m. Clean Elections Comedy. Improv and monologuist Josh Kornbluth. Josh, stop hogging the loguist. Rocky 300

10 p.m. Super Sweet Sixteen. Everybody is invited to my fifteenth birthday, same time, same day. Students’ Building, Second Floor

SATURDAY, 4/29
12 p.m. Class of 2007 Spring Fling. Ladies, start your tube tops. Gentlemen, light those hookahs. The Quad

2 p.m. Boggle Tournament. My childhood stands as proof that you do not need a partner in order to play Boggle. And thus my childhood formed a metaphor for life. Main Building, Gold Parlor

8 p.m. Barn Dance. Walker Family Band. Yo, we could get a boyfriend here, right? I hear the younger son is single. The Quad

9 p.m. Aural Pleasure. But does it really count? Students’ Building, Second Floor.

SUNDAY, 4/30
9 a.m. Autism Walk. You may have seen the signs that read: “Got Autism?” South Commons

Noon. Lavish Day of Fun. Lavash Day of Fun? Like the cousin of pita and nephew of naan? I guess carb jokes aren’t funny to “thin people.” The Quad

MONDAY, 5/1
3 p.m. Tea. In response to a recent survey, the student body is split in the choice to screen MTV’s “True Life: I Have 4 Dads” or “Made: I Don’t Have Calves.” A single vote was cast for “Scrubs.” Rose Parlor

3:30 p.m. Spring Convocation. Peter Huenink, “Would You Buy a Cathedral From This Man?” If he’s talking about that homeless man who sells flowers at all the dopest parties, then the answer is yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Chapel

5 p.m. Lecture. The Iraq Veterans Against the War. Back for one night only. Rocky 200

8 p.m. Italian Film Series. Quo Vadis, Baby? Translation: Would You Buy a Cathedral From This Man? Alternate title: Let’s make a baby! Rocky 200

TUESDAY, 5/2
10 a.m. Cap and Gown Convocation Sale. Animal print and kimono style available upon request. ‘Laundry’ by Shelley Siegel available upon further request. CC 204
3 p.m. Tea. The survey also revealed that most students thought ‘Tea’ was merely an amusing joke, a legend left over from the Golden Days, a relic of a beautiful and more simple time when women could wear corsets without risking public mockery. Rose Parlor

4:30 p.m. Math Lecture. Ten times eight equals wow you got fucked over for room draw. Rocky 310

6 p.m. Film Screening. Following Sean. Followed by question and answer session with director Ralph Arlyck. A film about a girl obsessed with Sean Lennon. Starring Lindsay Lohan. Sanders Hall, 212

WEDNESDAY, 5/3
3 p.m. Street Photography Workshop. Serge Levy. “Riff raff, street rat, I don’t buy that. If only they’d looked closer,” Sebastian Black ’07. Taylor 205

THURSDAY, 5/4
3 p.m. Tea. Despite the revamping, in the end it turns out that the same few people still care while the rest of us still don’t. Maybe they should have gone with “Scrubs.” Rose Parlor

5 p.m. Community Coffee House. This week, the Indigo Girls. CC 223

6 p.m. Senior BBQ. I know you’re seniors, but with four weeks until summer and your future on the line, do you really need all those trans-fats? Terrace Apartments