Weekly Calendar 4/7-4/13

FRIDAY, 4/7, Parent’s Weekend
10 a.m. Good Neighbor Meeting. Love means not making the hall smell like incense. CC 237

3 p.m. Tea. I recently experienced a traumatic event. Rose Parlor

7 p.m. Bingo with Fran. One time I had to call bingo numbers at an old people home in Scranton. I got booed off the podium. Students’ Building, Second Floor

9 p.m. The Sklar Brothers Comedy. On Saturday night, my sisters and I will be reenacting “Nick and Jessica’s Comedy Hour.” Hint: I’m Ashlee. Students’ Building, Second Floor

SATURDAY, 4/8
10 a.m. Measure 4 Measure Concert. A Cappella is like beer. You can have it in the morning, but it might make you sick, you might throw up, and you might die a little inside. Shakespeare Garden

10 a.m. China Trip Discussion. There’s this kid who had his bar mitzvah at the Great Wall because his parents thought it wasn’t safe to go to the Western Wall. New England, 107

Noon. Bagel Brunch. Includes a discussion called “So where was your bar mitzvah?” Bayit

Noon. Arboretum Tour. You know those pictures of the trees on campus in that booklet with the names of the people who donated money to the school? If you see the trees in person you’ll want to donate more. Finances work in mysterious ways. Main Building

1 p.m. Women’s Tennis. Vassar vs. The College of New Jersey. By going to TCNJ, I could’ve saved my parents about $150,000. To be fair, my application essay was approximately 100 words about fish sticks and they still accepted me. Joss Tennis Courts

1 p.m. Circus Arts. But instead, I came to beautiful Vassar. Look parents, all that extra money was spent well. I can now juggle. Library Lawn

1 p.m. Beowulf Marathon. Starring Paul Kane in a silly hat as Grendel. Jade Parlor

3 p.m. President’s Ice Cream Social. The Marginalized Intolerant of Lactose Kin (MILK) will be protesting and promoting their plan for a dairy-free Vassar. Counter-protesters are expected to be present and to hurl chunks of brie at them. CC, Circle

5:15 p.m. “Truth or Dare?” Presented by the Virginia B. Smith's Debate Society. If you see parents streaking through the quad, this is why. Rocky 200

10 p.m. 50 Nights. Fifty nights until you have to get a job, find a place to live, stop mooching off your parents, and never have to write a Blackboard post on eighteenth century Peruvian mapmaking again. CC, Circle

SUNDAY, 4/9
2 p.m. Marco Polo. Anthropology students discuss their research and fieldwork. Also features the episode of “Degrassi” where Marco comes out to his mom while wearing a pink polo shirt. Rocky, 112

MONDAY, 4/10
3 p.m. Tea. The New York Times changed the format and font of their website. Rose Parlor

5 p.m. Film Screening. He Said, She Said. He said: “I guess she’s cute. We only went out once. Also, I’m gay.” She said: “Do you think he’ll call me this weekend? OMG. He texted me once. That means he likes me. He took me to the movies but then didn’t kiss me goodbye, what does that mean? It means he loves me, right? Right?? Right. Of course.” Blodgett Auditorium

TUESDAY, 4/11
3 p.m. Tea. My first reactions were disbelief and shock. Rose Parlor

5:30 p.m. Reading. Derek Walcott, Nobel Prize winner. David Sedaris hasn’t won a Nobel Prize, but he did ask me if I take drugs. Villard Room

9:15 p.m. Quebecois Concert. Just remember, if you say it in English you have to repeat in French. Students’ Building, Second Floor

WEDNESDAY, 4/12
3 p.m. Tea. These were followed by “You can’t DO this to me.” Rose Parlor

5 p.m. Philosopher’s Holiday. Jeremy Waldron, “The Rule Against Torture: What Philosophy Can Contribute.” But what is torture? Taylor Hall, 203

THURSDAY, 4/13, Passover!
3 p.m. Tea. My rock, my savior, destroyed by a simple font, wide margins and lame videos. Rose Parlor

7:30 p.m. VSA Election Debates. Debate questions include: Which Belle and Sebastian album is better, Tigermilk or Dear Catastrophe Waitress? Who’s hotter, Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You or Adrien Grier in Drive Me Crazy? Why does the Retreat have both Boca burgers and veggie burgers, but ACDC only has black bean burgers? Retreat