Weekly Calendar 3/3-3/9

FRIDAY, 3/3
3 p.m. Tea. To Whom It May Concern, Please stop leaving love letters in my mailbox. It’s literally overflowing and I’m expecting a birthday card from my grandparents. Rose Parlor

9 p.m. Improv. Reform Jews struggle to find the right words at a Passover seder. Sanders Hall, 212

10 p.m. CBS Mug Night. It starts slow, but things pick up once “Everybody Loves Raymond” enters the scene. Matthew’s Mug

SATURDAY, 3/4
4 p.m. 24th Annual Vassar Repertory Dance Theater. Featuring the Poughkeepsie High School Step Team in a wonderful performance that blends the best parts of Kabuki and the Electric Slide: boys in tights. Bardavon Opera House

5 p.m. Non-Con Conference. Ladies, start your engines. CC, Faculty Commons

SUNDAY, 3/5
3 pm. Tea. Also, please stop throwing rocks and rose petals at my window at the wee romantic hours of the night. I need those hours to focus on writing the calendar for the Backpage. Rose Parlor

3 p.m. Concert. Vassar Wind Ensemble. Conducted by James Osborn. Spiderman 3: James Franco as Harry Osborn as James Osborn in Annapolis, the Musical. Skinner Hall
MONDAY, 3/6
3 p.m. Tea. In fact, I’m kind of confused about why you’re interested in me in the first place, especially with the rumor going around that I’ve had Psoriasis Rosea twice. But I guess some people might consider that to be unique. Rose Parlor

5:30 p.m. Lecture. Dr. David H. Evans from the Ethnomusicology/Regional Studies Doctoral Program of U. of Memphis, “Blues and the Mississippi River Flood of 1927: Reflections on New Orleans.” One time in an airport, my mom told Melissa Etheridge that my brother is into “hip music.” Taylor 203

8 p.m. Women in Science Lecture. Dr. Wendy Freedman, “The Runaway Universe.” If this title is to make even a drop of sense, I think what this doctor means is “The Runway Universe.” Villard Room

TUESDAY, 3/7
3 p.m. Tea. I don’t know if your interests include “dating,” but I am personally only interested in the following: choosing a lover, taking a lover, selecting a lover, love affairs, and passion. Rose Parlor

7 p.m. Panel Discussion. Representatives from Vassar and the greater Poughkeepsie community will discuss Changing Cities/Changing Rivers. Easier said than done, guys. Bad habits are hard to break. Last time I tried to change rivers my estrogen level bumped up and down more than George Washington’s crotch crossing the Potomac on horseback. Villard Room

10 p.m. Rock ‘n Roll Club Film Screening. For fools who play air guitar so hard their fingers bleed. Rocky 300

WEDNESDAY, 3/8
3 p.m. Tea. Thank you for your time. You’ve already taken up a whole lot of mine, not to mention emotional space. I know I seem strong, but sometimes I am also fragile. You may have been attracted to my immense strength to begin with. Sincerely, Box 1200. Rose Parlor

3 p.m. Mini-Course Registration. David’s going to teach his little tap dance class again, but you should probably buy your own tap shoes, because he only has two extra pairs. CC, North Atrium

3 p.m. Street Photography Workshop. The name of Sebastian Black’s one-woman show. Ladies, bring your hand mirrors. Taylor 205.

THURSDAY, 3/9
3 p.m. Tea. P.S. If you’re serious, write me a note and leave it in my box. Rose Parlor.

5 p.m. Community Coffee House. Look bitches, I told you to go and you didn’t, and now no one is going to get Babycakes cookies. Show up with your tail between your wallet, because your greasy money is still good here. Main MPR.