Intramural Sports

Steve Buonfiglio Columnist

Intramurals 2006: The Year of Destiny. That’s right, we in the IM Office are declaring this the year that all your dreams and fantasies come true—only the G-rated ones (R-rated [for language] for the hoopsters). Crazy, bizarre things are in the offering for the coming year—a Williams Professor of Economics will become President of good old Vassar College; the Devil Rays will beat the Yankees; Lucy will hold that football steady for Charlie Brown; reality TV will cease to exist; Elvis will be found alive; it will never snow in January again; and yes, the stars will align at long last for your IM team. Glory is yours—if you do not miss the deadline for one of these activities:

3v3 Basketball—Games are played on Wednesday and Sunday nights in the new gym. Pick and roll, give and go, dunk and taunt! See what Pete Malinowski ’06 and Coca Cola have in common—the potential to re-pete, as Pete’s gang of three looks to defend their Comp Title. You know you’ve got it going good when a comparison to a burp is a compliment.

Volleyball—Sunday afternoons/evenings in the new gym. That’s right, like the Jeffersons, IM volleyball is moving on up. This is not the new gym in Kenyon (which to me is the new old gym), it’s the new gym in Walker (which is the old new gym). I believe Abbott and Costello would have done well in the IM Director’s chair. By the way, I don’t have a chair—budget restrictions kill us all. While Team Carly’s Illegitimate Bastard Child took the title last go around, can they repeat while mom is JYA? We in IM’s love all the children, we are love-blind, not to be confused with blinded by love.

Indoor Soccer—Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday nights. The line is out on one side, the curtain on the other—and that’s really all you need to know to play IM Soccer. That and two other things and you can probably graduate from VC. The other two things…ah, that’s the problem. The Replacement have at least one of those three things down, as they rode all the way to Comp Title when last we met in ’05. Will Kevin “Win Again in ’06 and ’07” Bystrom ’07 and the rest be able to repeat in ’06? That’s a teaser, a journalistic tool we like to pull out—that and the rhyming thing—very often in the IM Office.

Table Tennis—One-day event: Sunday, Feb. 12. Be the greatest Ping Pong player since Forrest Gump—who had a pretty nifty t-shirt himself. I like Tom Hanks. Who doesn’t like Tom Hanks? He made a good commencement speech here last year in the drizzle—short, good speech. I couldn’t think of anything to rev up the Table Tennis event, even though it’s always fun, so I went the path of Entertainment Tonight—which I never watch. That’s the one good thing they’ll put on my tomb stone.

Bowling – One-day event: Wednesday, Feb. 22—two-player teams. It’ll cost you $8 to wear someone else shoes, but to walk in another’s shoes, isn’t that the first step toward a tolerant society?

Get your IM entry info to stbuonfiglio@vassar.edu by Sunday, Feb. 5th—it’s Super Bowl Sunday, so work on it at halftime.

P.S.—Steelers by 9. The Bus believes in the Year of Destiny.