Intramural Sports

Steve Buonfiglio Columnist

I love Vassar College. I love Intramurals. And when you put it all together — Vassar College Intramurals, well it’s a veritable peanut butter and chocolate—a mad collision followed by something that can be really good. Of course there are days when it’s kinda like the finished product was left in the back seat of the car on a hot afternoon—IM Mush can be the order of the day.

Kyle Dickmann ’06—oh we have all seen Kyle, he’s tough to miss. We kid him because we really like him; well maybe that’s an exaggeration. But we don’t hate Kyle, not usually anyway. He took the L-SAT’s last weekend causing the entire football final to be postponed. But for Kyle, we will go out of our way. After all, someday he will be a lawyer. Then we will finally hate him for real.

The Florida Marlins had a “bring your dog to the ballpark night” this past season. The game was also interrupted by several rain delays—as if the Marlins don’t have enough trouble attracting fans, nothing like a bunch of wet dogs in the Florida heat. Why this idiotic ramble? Because in IM softball had a Bring Your Hamster to the Game Day last week. I didn’t know about it either, but there, under the tree, was a hamster watching the Squirrels In the Trees (relatives?) take on W.E.B. and da Boyz.

On Saturday the Squirrels had lost to Look At Me I’m So Pretty even though they forced extra innings after being down 12-0. The surge was sparked either by Adam “Godzilla” Goldman’s power or the “pity run” they had been granted. The run was later revoked and the Squirrels went nuts.

A day later, on Hamster Day, the Squirrels had to fight for their existence in the play-offs. “Towering” Ted Fondak ’07 was up to the task, doubling twice. But Da Boyz had a secret weapon working for themselves, Keith “The Hamster Marveler” Croxton ’06 who belted a home run that gave his team the lead, an advantage they never relinquished.

Next up it was the Big Hitters against Rufio and the Lost Boys. Regardless, Aly “Low Pitch Count” Piastra ’06 pitched a one-hitter until getting pulled from the mound in favor of Carly “That’s All Folks” Dahl ’07, who was running late. Carly is a lot like Bugs Bunny when he takes on the Gorilla Marauders all by himself—she can hit, she can pitch and if they hit it, she usually catches it.

In rec soccer revenge was had by the Big Hitters as they defeated Rufio one to zero on a controversial goal. I did not see the goal, but I heard so much about it that I began to feel that Hamsters don’t have such a bad life, especially on Hamster Day.

Meanwhile on the other side of campus, the comp soccer play-offs got underway. Team Bolognious downed Das Boot in the semis 2-1 as Elise “When You Get the Ball, Don’t Release” Okusami ’08 garnered accolades for her goal tending. Sundance Express played a stellar match to come out on top against Rufio and the Lost Boys II.

Sundance advanced to take on the top seed APGS. APGS scored the lone goal of the contest, which led to much joy and merriment by Ari Neiditz et al. Team Bolognious met the ECOMOG All-Stars AKA Soccer Delight—a match-up was as tight as Tupperware. The game ended in penalty kicks and in a repeat of last spring’s comp final, which served ECOMOG well. Carlos “Golden Foot” Sawyerr-Ibriga ’08 and Eric “E is for Effort” Theriault ’06 sparked the ECOMOG gang. The finals await and high drama is sure to ensue. Faint-hearted hamsters should stay home.

Who is the number one seed in volleyball heading into play-off action? Is it 3-1 Tye “The Cow to the Pole” Schulke’s Team Gay Sex? How about 3-1 Kevin “In the” Hunt’s CIS? Perhaps Sarah “Serving” Irving’s Gimps who also have a record of 3-1? After going to a third tiebreaker it ends up being Team Gay Sex. But they will be tried and tested if they are to prevail.

5v5 comp basketball has had little drama for Team Old as they doubled Volleyball’s score, 90-47. On the rec courts Jake Raymond is on fire; led by the double dose of Max — Boyd ’07 and Leiber ’07, the squad is the number one seed heading into the play-offs. I’m gonna get a Peanut Butter Cup now.