Miscellaneous Sex at Vassar

Miscellaneous Sex Writers Columnists

Q: This weekend, this guy and I were making out. I didn’t want things to go too far, so I made it known that I wanted to stop. We did stop, but then he started to pout and said something about me giving him “blue balls”. Huh? What’s “blue balls” and how could this have been transmitted through kissing and some minimal dry humping?
—I got the Blues
A: Good news—blue balls is not a contagious disease and it isn’t anyone’s fault! It is the sensation of heaviness or discomfort brought about by sexual arousal without climax. To be specific, when someone is aroused, his or her genitals become filled with blood which is held in the area by constricted veins until it is released rather quickly in the case of orgasm, or more slowly in the absence of such an episode. The blood that is in essence “trapped” in the genitals is responsible for the swelling of the penis that manifests as a hard-on and, perhaps more interestingly, a 25 to 50 percent increase in testicle size!

In females, the increased blood results in an engorged vulva. When the pressure of the extra blood is not relieved within a short period of time, it can cause some inconvenient pain. The pain, however, is temporary and by no means crippling. It can be easily relieved by going for a walk, playing a sport or taking an analgesic.

It should be stressed, however, that if reaching orgasm is the preferred mode of relieving “blue balls,” it is by no means the responsibility of the second party (in your case, this would be you, the one with no testicular or abdominal complaint) to do the dirty work of accomplishing this cure-all. Some people will try to pressure their partners into unwanted sexual activity under the guise that it’s necessary to end their intolerable suffering. This is just silly. No one ever “owes” anyone else an orgasm. The blue balls sufferer is probably far better acquainted with giving himself an orgasm than you are anyway—no offense.

If your partner continues to complain of pain in his or her genitals during arousal, or if the pain does not subside after orgasm, activity, rest, a cold/hot shower, or ibuprophen, it may be the result of some more serious medical condition. If you or your partner thinks this is the case, a health professional should be consulted (Baldwin x5800).

Q: I’m back at school with a new boyfriend and I’m feeling ready to “lose my V-card.” I know how it all works, but I’m a little anxious about myfirst time. Can you give me some advice?
—An Anxious Lady
A: Whether it’s your first time around the block, your first time with a new partner, or just your first time in a while, there are some things you can do to make this new experience more enjoyable. You must be comfortable and communicative with your partner. You both should be comfortable enough to tell the other if something feels wrong or if you need to stop for some reason. Keep in mind that sex is often just as mental as it is physical. Be sure to relax and get all concerns, like homework, STI’s, and pregnancy out of your head (take care of them ahead of time!), and focus on the experience.

Always keep in mind that sex doesn’t have to hurt. How? Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay! For girls, it stimulates natural lube producers and opens the vagina up for the experience. So get hot, get wet, and get turned on before he actually dives in. Plus, it gets you familiar with one another and relaxes you and your muscles. Use lube and protection, available at your Student Fellow’s door, the Health Education Office in the back of Metcalf, or the CHOICE Office in the Jewett basement for supplies and information. Take your time—have him enter you slowly and just a little, then take a break before he enters further. Be safe, have fun, and let us know how it goes!